you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
