my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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