So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
