Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
