And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
