I don't think brook has ever known best
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
