Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
