Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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