Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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