I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My vagina just recognized that song.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
