I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
