I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
