all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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