How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
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Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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