We're facebook friends in real life
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
