im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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