420 ftw
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
