Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize