Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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