please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
well you can't waste a boner
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
