Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your cock deserves a montage
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
