At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
