xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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