i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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