I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We are all done wearing pants today
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
