Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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