he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's never too late to be topless.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize