I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
