I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
