Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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