thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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