If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize