She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
