Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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