brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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