The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
