We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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