it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
