These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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