i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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