Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
