normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
