Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
