Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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