Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
