Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
