i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
