you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
