also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
