new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize