the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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