i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
