It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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