why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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