oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
