Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
