I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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