Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
