Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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