thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
