You made me cry and you don't even care
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
