My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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