i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
